he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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