I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
