So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
