Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
