I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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