If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
