Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize