Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
