i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
