Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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