Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
they're like a gay fantastic four
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
