it was like eating out sand paper
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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