I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
