Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize