That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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