I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
