You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
