I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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