it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
