I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
4 words: hood of his car
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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