lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
