i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
You peed on a flamingo?!?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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