Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
