Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
