Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize