oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
