Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
