I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
