He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
