Apparently you make a good broom.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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