I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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