she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
