I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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