turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
