? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Randomize
