It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Green mimosas i think yes
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
