Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize