Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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