I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
