I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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