Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
