I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
