eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Randomize