everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i was born a porn star she said
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
