you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
