WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
