Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
