At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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