dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
