forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
