shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize
