I wish life had little blips of pornography
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
