ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
