Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
