i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize