redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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