two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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