I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
