I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
