Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
