the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
