susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
