Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize