do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
how drunk are you?
Several
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
