well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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