...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
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