chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
