You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
