it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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