Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
