it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
