just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
