I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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