I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
