it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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