Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
