I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize