should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
