Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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