If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
