dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
