i just had sex bonerless
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
