I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
