I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
im six kinds of drunk right now
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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