First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
