I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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