Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i need to put some appletini on your dick
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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