Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
