I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
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