Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
